I Learned This in a Fraternity… and It Explains Why Strength Training Changes Boys

Mighty Oak Athletic Podcast S2:E65 - I Learned This in a Fraternity...and It Explains Why Strength Training Changes Boys

When I was a junior in high school, I went on the college-tour circuit that so many teenagers experience on their way to the next chapter of life.

Large public schools.

Small private colleges.

Some close to home.

Others across the country.

It was February in Chicago — cold, gray, and miserable.

My friend Emily and I flew out to visit the University of Arizona in Tucson.

The first morning on campus, I walked down Greek Row.

The sun was warm on my face.

The sky was a perfect blue.

Students strolled past with an ease and energy that felt completely foreign to a Chicago kid in winter.

Girls walked by in Daisy Duke shorts, smiling and laughing under that desert sunshine.

Sold.

My college search was over in five minutes.

I applied, sent my deposit, reserved housing, and locked it all in before most kids had finished their essay drafts.

That fall, I joined Pi Kappa Alpha — PIKE — with a group of freshman “meatheads” from all over the country: Seattle, Phoenix, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Diego, Houston, Denver.

But you don’t join a fraternity at first.

You become a pledge — a membership candidate.

And in the mid-90s, pledging meant one thing:

Shared suffering.

Upperclassmen put us through a semester of hazing rituals that were exhausting, ridiculous, and honestly… sometimes miserable.

But we looked out for each other.

We stayed up late together.

We dodged upperclassmen on campus so we wouldn’t be forced to recite the frat credo in the middle of the cafeteria.

We were woken up in the middle of the night to help a pledge brother who got himself into a questionable situation.

It was terrible.

And it was amazing.

It bonded us.

The most fun I’d never want to have again.

We even found joy in the chaos — like the night before spring break when we covered the frat house in bags of flour and rotten fish, then piled into minivans and tore off toward Rocky Point, Mexico, like privileged vigilantes.

Sure, there was hell to pay when we got back.

But we suffered together.

Standing shoulder to shoulder built a brotherhood that still exists today — even though I may go years or decades without seeing some of those guys.

And that’s where the idea of this essay begins:

Boys and young men often build their strongest bonds not by talking face-to-face… but by standing shoulder to shoulder.

Why Boys Connect Side by Side

There’s an old observation about how boys communicate.

They don’t always want deep conversations or heart-to-heart talks.

They prefer doing something together.

Fishing.

Playing video games.

Shooting hoops.

Jogging.

Sitting next to each other in a car.

Activity creates connection.

Shared experience builds trust.

This is why the weight room works so well for young athletes — especially boys.

Shoulder-to-Shoulder Builds Camaraderie

Strength training puts athletes side by side.

They load the bar together.

Spot each other.

Cheer for each other.

Suffer through tough sets together.

Win small victories together.

No speeches needed.

No pressure to “open up.”

The bond forms naturally because they are moving in the same direction — literally and mentally.

Shared effort = shared respect.

Shared struggle = shared friendship.

This is the same dynamic I experienced during those chaotic fraternity nights.

You grow closer when you go through something with someone.

Competence Creates Confidence

Training shoulder to shoulder also builds something deeper: competence.

Every rep teaches skill.

Every session builds mastery.

Every cue from a coach helps an athlete do something he couldn’t do last week.

Competence becomes confidence.

Not fake swagger.

Not hype.

Not empty motivation.

Real confidence comes from knowing:

“I did this.

I earned this.

I can do it again.”

That strength carries into school, sports, friendships, and everyday life.

A Safe Place for Growth

Not every kid knows how to talk about stress or doubt.

But most kids can deadlift.

Most kids can push a sled.

Every kid can get one percent better.

Movement becomes the language.

Effort becomes connection.

Training becomes the safe place where kids can be themselves.

This is why quieter kids blossom here.

Why awkward middle-schoolers transform into confident high-school leaders.

They grow shoulder to shoulder.

Rep by rep.

Week after week.

The Mighty Oak Way

At Mighty Oak Athletic, we build athletes who are:

• strong

• confident

• competent

• connected

The weight room becomes their version of Greek Row — but healthier, safer, and more intentional.

A place where friendships form.

A place where they learn to show up for each other.

A place where confidence takes root.

We grow better athletes — and better young men — one rep at a time.

Side by side.

Shoulder to shoulder.